The Unsober Funnies

John (after we had ordered Pizza Hut pizza, thin crust with extra cheese, pepperoni, and ground beef): Thin is TEH WIN. You can't eat that pan shit cold.

The World's Best T-Shirt:
(front)
"Dude, this shit is weak."
(back)
"Then stir it up!"
[picture of Howie with pen]

Liz: No, I'm not selling crack.
Howie: How about mangos?

Liz: Tuesday I had riding practice...
Howie: Who are you riding? I mean... what are you riding?

Howie (playing Grand Theft Auto 3/PS2, I had made the Ferrari "my bitch" and was generally powersliding left and right through the 2nd island, until i crashed) Dude, I went from a Ferrari to a Dodge. Not even a new one. I'm driving fucking Scott Baio's car.

John: *mumble mumble*
Howie: What? You once knew a girl that ate urine?!?